to my readers

This blog is now all about my personal life, including updates concerning Jerry's health. For quilt and pattern related posts please visit

Friday, March 6, 2015

The REAL deal

Recently my daughter was over at her 'other' family's house and she got up to leave the room. When she did so, the family grilled my daughters fiance as to whether all this about Jerry could really be real. How could one person have this much wrong with them and still be alive? Is she sure we aren't making some of it up?

Then while Jerry was in the hospital last week one of the doctors (he gets visited by TONS from all the different teams of docs that he has.) and one dared to ask Jerry why he's ok at the hospital but not at home. Why does he come home and have to go right back again?

Well it's probably good I wasn't in the room at the time or I probably would have lost my temper. Because... Mr Doc Know it All.. you have a BLOOD BANK at your hospital that, ummm, we don't have at home!  You have an IV machine that we don't have at home. (smh). Jerry got two blood transfusions while he was there. He also got two bags of antibiotics and multiple bags of fluid. He's been home a week and guess what Mr Doc..he will need to go back next week for more blood!! (The nerve!!)

Thru all of this I have lost many "friends". People that quit reading, commenting, encouraging. I am actually quite shocked at a couple of them but its ok because trials define "friendship". I simply do not have time to keep up with blogs or sometimes even reply to emails. I want to but I simply just can not!  I am actually glad that you stopped. I have a couple of particular people especially in mind, and you know... at least now I know who was fake, huh?

My five year old son woke up today and came right to my lap. He then told me "Mommy, sometimes I want to cry when I think about my daddy dying, is that okay?" Oh this is all very real to our 5 year old.

My husband has had 7 or 8 transfusions just in the new year. He cannot walk, He can no longer write, and he cannot see well enough to read. He barely can eat. He cannot shower. Today he attempted to place a dish in the sink and fell to ground when he reached from his cane to the sink. He lives in the hospital as much as he lives at home. This is very real to him.

Yesterday someone spent the time to write how just how much she knows how real this is to me. She described my life to a T, it makes me think that she must have lived this reality herself at one time or another. Let me share the message:

I have you in my prayers each day.I know how hard you have it with Jerry and don't know how you do it. Taking care of Jerry, and Stephen and trying to keep up a business. Then there is taking care of the bills, keeping up with the doctors,taking care of a house, cooking and the list goes on. I have to do a lot of those things (except keeping a business) and of course we have to drive them everywhere too and make a schedule and work that out. Then I think what about me? When do I have time for me and if I do take time for me I worry about my husband. I feel your pain and all your going through. Then I think there are worst situations than what we have to do and there are people that don't have anyone to care for them. What do they do? found that our Lord Jesus is the one I need to talk to every now and then when I am by myself. At church on Sunday I felt the Holy Spirit lifting me up. Before I go to bed I pray and ask the Lord to bless and help my family and friends.You especially are included my friend. Don't try to be wonder woman and can do anything and everything. I thought I could be her at one time but only made myself stressed and sick You have a lot of friends that are praying for you and when they say that, GOD IS LISTENING.even when you think he isn't God loves you like all the folks that listen to you and pray for you. We love you.

I've never met the person that wrote that message. She has been shopping in my fabric group for awhile now but has not seen the madness over the last two years, yet she was able to COMPLETELY understand everything that is on my shoulders..and she knows that its for real. She made me cry because it was so sweet and it was just when I needed it. Not a single person can know what we are going through, but each person has trials of their own. Some are big and some are small but ALL are real.My final thought is this, If you don't love someone, let them go because they don't need fake. And yes, what Jerry is going through is for real. Just ask my five year old who wants to know if its ok to cry when he thinks about his daddy dying.