Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I promised

several of you a new post updating about Jerry and I but I just cannot get to it. It is 5 am and I need to sleep an hour or two. I was up all night the night before last too.

I will update as soon as I can, but just real quick Jerry is in a new hospital..was transferred there last Friday.

This almost single mom running a very busy business has me so so exhausted....I will update when I can and tell all. Just let me get last weeks invoices out first. Thanks!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Monday Randomness...Jerry style

How long has it been since I published a Monday random post? You all used to love them. While life is tough, it is not as tough as it was a couple of days ago. So perhaps today I can bring back some Monday fun, in spite of the subject matter...

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Jerry finally had a colonoscopy today. After asking for one for like 6 weeks. The results were good, in that they found a ton of bacteria and infection. They showed me photos, it looked awful. Infection everywhere. How is that good? Well...infection does most likely not equal cancer. Biopsies are being done because they already attempted to treat him for an infection of his colon a couple of other times. They keep thinking he has C-diff but it always comes up negative. So...he's got something. He's being treated for C-diff again. (Even though it was negative just yesterday). And they are running biopsies to figure out what in the world it is.

More medical developments in a minute...but first a happy thought...

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Everyone needs one of these:

No, not the quilt. Thats MY HELEN holding the quilt that I gave her when she came up last time Jerry was in the hospital. She dropped everything and came up this time too. MY HELEN is a breast cancer survivor and at least I got this quilt (convergence 2) finished for her just in time for Breast cancer awareness month. Yes, everyone needs a Helen, but this one is MINE.  She leaves tomorrow. sigh.

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Want to hear my silly moment?


Exhaustion defined:

 I was so tired this morning. I worked all night on the fabric business last night and never went to bed. That in itself is not uncommon. I do that at least once a week. But we all know that right now I have ever so much more on my shoulders. Anyway, I was driving to the hospital early this morning and I know I kept weaving and was trying so hard to keep my eyes open. At one point I thought about stopping at a rest area, but it was still very early and dark and I felt uncomfortable with it. So I continued on...and safely arrived at the hospital at 6 am. I laid my head back on the head rest, sighed with relief and said a prayer of thanks for arriving safely because I knew I was not in good shape. Next thing I knew I awoke to loud music blaring from a cab and it was after 8. LOL, I fell asleep right there in the parking garage for over 2 hours this morning!!! But hey, I didn't miss Jerry's medical tests!

(STOP RIGHT THERE...I DO NOT need a bunch of mother henning. I know you mean well but I am doing the best I can and I am doing what I have to do the exact same as all of you would do if you were in my shoes. But thanks for thinking of me. I AM taking the best care of myself that I possibly can given the circumstances and I will not drive when I am that tired again.) I love you all though. And your concerns. :)

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I just got home tonight and was playing with Stephen (cuz he needed momma time), when Jerry called and said we need to talk a minute. The cardiologist was just there. Hmmm, didn't know there was a cardiologist on the case! So...here is the surprising development that just showed up tonight....

Jerry has had at least 3 small strokes in the last week or so. So the neurologist called in the cardiologist. They are thinking the small strokes are being caused from Atrial Fibrillation. (A fib). I guess sometimes Jerry's heartbeat is a bit off and it shoots these A fibs which the doctor described as almost Micro Bursts. But when it happens, it shoots those little clots of blood and those cause Jerry to stroke. Right now they are all small strokes, but at some point it could cause a massive stroke. So after Jerry gets the stomach stuff cleared up and after he gains some strength, they are going to implant a heart monitor and monitor him for the next three years. 

I really don't know much more as I was already home when this doctor came today with this latest development. I will get up early in the morning and find out more.

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The boys are well. Seth is quite occupied with something fun that I really want to blog about sometime. You'll love that story. And as for Stephen, it seems he is passed around to everyone right now. So I always try to find fun things to do with him when we are together. We've been doing lots of leaf paintings, and also some great tub painting projects. Like this one:


Those were taken in the dark for his glow in the dark black light tub painting. He'll blog about it someday.

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I don't know when Jerry will go back to work.While at three months he can get short term disability he is not there yet so we currently have no income( well we continue to get financial gifts in the mail weekly!) except for my fabric group. I was going to say, "My little fabric group". Little it is not. I logged on tonight when I got home and I approved my 600th member. How exciting is that? I promised them a nice giveaway, so I need to go find something fun.

I have 35 emails yet to even read. Most are loving comments from you all. I look forward to a quiet moment when I can sit and enjoy your outpouring of love and prayers.

Thank you.

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What is Monday Randomness without my rapid fire comment section? You all love this..but if you are new, here is the deal. You can only answer in ONE WORD ANSWERS, and you have to say the first thing that comes to your brain:

1) How many hours of sleep a night do you sleep on average?
2) What is one thing you could not live without. "Everyone needs a ____________________"
3) If you need mother henned about something, what would it be?
4) When you are stressed what 'bad' thing do you turn to? (meaning many will say that we need to turn to God, and I agree but the human side of us gets in the way all too often. Sweets are my stress comfort. Ugh.)
5) Ok, this does not have to be a one word answer: What exciting thing have I missed out on in blogland in the last 3 months? Give me some fun answers!!






Saturday, October 20, 2012

New developments

I was just thinking the other day how I yearn to blog again. Make some new designs, get kits together, visit my blogland friends. But today, I just don't feel it. Today I just yearn for life to come full circle...we've been going round and round, you know? I just want to get back to how things used to be. And as long as things progress...I just don't care to type anything other than about my husband. So no more apologies for this not being much of a quilt blog anymore. Because all that matters is that right now my husband is lying in a hospital bed and I can't be there with him.

Perhaps I should fill in some details for you...

Last Wednesday Jerry attempted to go back to work. He made it a half day; and that did him in. He had another small stroke. Several in fact. His platelet count is high so today the newest concern is that there is a blood clot in his heart. Because of that they cannot give him blood thinners to stop the small strokes.

He also continues to have problems internally with his bowels, etc. No known cause as of yet.

While I have been concerned all along, today, my friends I am scared. Jerry is in isolation and my daughter is out of town so she cannot babysit Stephen. I am stuck at home, pacing, pacing, pacing. I cry sometimes too. My pastor has offered to watch Stephen for a bit today, but I doubt I will make Stephen take the long car trip for a short visit. I do have a friend coming tomorrow to watch Stephen then I can go be with my husband.

I think Jerry knew he was getting worse. Several days ago I was downstairs working on my fabric business and Jerry was lying in his bed. (Where he's been for 8 weeks now.) He sent me this text:

"No matter what happens in this life, I care about you more than anything. You will always be the love of my life. Forever."

Ditto husband. Ditto.



Monday, October 15, 2012

$50 giveaway...for you for me

Ok, so yesterday I was pretty down in the dumps. But then things just happen, as they tend to do. I have been gone all day, but came home to find this in my inbox.

Please visit. I am just amazed at the outpouring of blessings...just amazed.

Go visit and you could win $50:

http://missionmontanalawson.blogspot.com/2012/10/50-paypal-giveaway.html

Is this 7 or 8?

An exciting Ahhhh update is written at the bottom of this post. You can skip down if you don't want to read personal 'stuff'. 

It is the middle of the night and I belong in bed. Last night I never went to bed, and here it is after 2 tonight (or I guess I should say this morning.)

I was laying in bed (the couch for me) thinking...how long has this gone on? 7 weeks? 8 weeks? One of those.

Is Jerry improving? Maybe. I guess. I mean he went from never eating, to eating once a day in bed, to now where he tries to eat at least twice a day at the table. He's eating more. But I don't see any weight on his bones. He tried to go to work one day last week. It is a long walk into the prison. Too far for someone who does not have the strength to even stand and shower or ever leave his room except to force himself so that he can eat. He had to come back home.

Today the boys and I wanted to go to church. Jerry thought that sounded nice too. Until he woke up and spent a half an hour gagging. By that time I just didn't have the heart to go either.

I rarely leave the house; although I took time with my children to go to a corn maze Friday night. We all needed that. Stephen isn't very nice to his daddy anymore. Jerry tries to talk to him...but Stephen being a 2 yr old has adapted to life without his daddy. He does run into Jerry's room and try to interact, and Jerry tries too..but the moments are few and far between. It is all so sad.

We've all adapted. My husband does not have the strength to show me affection anymore. I savor a nice hug maybe in the morning after I cook his breakfast. That hug is not easy though, since I can feel each and every bone, with no muscle/meat attached it seems.

I am a single mom who runs a business, who homeschools, who cares full time for an invalid. Or at least that is how it plays out. For sure adaptions have had to be made.

With the exception of the weekends (when I have to do fabric invoices) I try to get lots of sleep. I need the rest so even though I often stay up all night Saturday nights, the rest of the week I sleep naps and night as much as I can. I have too much to do to run through life weary. Even the fabric has to wait.

Tomorrow we are going to try to get help for Jerry again. He doesn't have a doc appt for a week and a half. That is too long away. He has worked hard to stay home from the hospital for an entire week. And he's weary. Depressed. So so depressed. Yes, it is time to try to get help again.

Well, I really cannot say more, so lets move on, Ok?

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I just got the COOLEST fabric in for Ahhhh kits...and I am in discussion with another company for something else for those kits. I am excited about that! Cross your fingers that I can get that worked out. If it does, then perhaps we'll start with some of the easiest designs and make some placemats or runners or something. I don't know, what do you think? What would be the best use of 3 or 4 ahhhhs? Ideas, please share ideas. Give me a distraction...something to think about, something to create!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Ahhhh--spiration

I am so upbeat today. I just feel like life is getting back on track. Husband is eating; he's keeping his doc appts, and the boys and I are anxious to get back to the day to day grind. I have a full appreciation now of that day to day grind, you know?

Anyway, I am anxious to draw up and ACTUALLY sew an ahhhh for next week. I spent some time looking through other's ahhhh's in the Flikr neighborhood. It was so inspiring. I want to invite you all to please share your ahhhh's to Flikr. I just love looking through them.

Here is the link:

Hillbilly Flikr Group

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Ahhhh 36--Octagon

How GOOD it is to work on an Ahhhh. I knew I had one drawn up for you but forgot in all the craziness. So here it is. Not a hard one at all. There will be 'geometric' hexagons more often now. I've put them off for awhile knowing that I have some serious star lovers out there.

The Octogon Hexagon was first published in the Farm Journal and Farmers Wife around 1941.




My colored version: 


Note each of these sections is a tumble block;
the entire block is colored like this:


Below not my work but will give you an idea of how this could look;
credit to Jinny Beyer


Monday, October 8, 2012

Happy Flannel

Manufactured by : Springs Creative Group
Name of Fabric: Splash

Cost $3.75/yd

7 yards available. Just make sure that you are not a 'no reply' blogger and comment. We'll handle details via email.

First come first serve.


I don't wanna....

I've been needing to write an update post...but it's been hard to do. Why? Because I grow weary of writing posts that are full of medical; and not full of fun. So maybe I'll just do a random post today. But it has to be fast as I have so much to do...always so much to do.

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Jerry was in the hospital last week. I don't even remember which day we went in this time around. I had just stayed up an entire night(and only 3 hours sleep the next night) to work on apples and fabric; and was just too exhausted to come home. So I stayed in a motel a few days. My friend Helen knew I was just about done in, so she came up to help me for a few days and left yesterday.

Jerry has a liver enzyme that wont quit rising. All his other blood work is great. Just that one liver enzyme that gives a clue something is wrong...but no one is sure what. They ran an upper GI and found a bunch of ulcers all down throat, esophagus and stomach. They are doing biopsies but we've not heard back yet. He's home and eating...and more importantly keeping it down. But he's not getting out of bed much at all. Just to eat. Not much more to say. We take one day at a time.

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My fabric friends have been awesome in helping me out and gifting me cash for gas, groceries, meds. The prison took up a collection and the church has helped as well. One day at a time here too. The bills are currently paid, there is plenty of food in the house, and all prescriptions (not total over $500 for the last month) have been paid for. All is good!

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Speaking of fabric, I ordered a bunch of flannel but I sure have a lot left. Some other goodies too. I removed the fabric pages here on the blog as they didnt do very well. I think I'll run some things as a post every so often. That would be so much easier for me. I'll start with the next post after this. I hope you all dont' mind me posting fabric, but someone may want some and I need to move it out of here.

If you belonged to my destash page on facebook, thank you. But I need to tell you that I broke away from that as it is an auction format for anyone. With no income, I need to step up my game so I started my own page. The button on the side bar goes to the page. Please help me share it. This fabric pays the bills right now. Thank you.

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Ahhhhs---these I feel so bad about. I don't even know what I've given you and what I havent. I will look into that and get a post up as soon as I can.

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Blogland--I sure miss it and you my bloggy friends. I am ready for life to return to normal, that is for sure! There are some BOM's that I missed the postings on and I pretty much give up on them...I guess there will be more, huh?
Oh, and I finally gave up and deleted all the comment emails just today. I was going to try to reply to all...but it's been so long now. Lets start fresh, what do you think?