Riding the Coaster...

I want to begin this blog post with an apology. A quilting blog it sure has not been. But hopefully, as my roller coaster of life continues I'll be back to my quilty blogland sooner than expected. If things go well, maybe even before January! (but I will not rush it.) That being said, I need to post about my husband again because, when life boils down to reality...husbands are more important than quilts (Oh the shock!)

LOL, you must know by me typing that I am in a upbeat, positive mood. But the last two days have been a complete roller coaster, UP down UP down...I'll continue our story:

When I left you all last, we were taking my husband back to the hospital. It was so sad to see him, he did not even have the strength to walk back to his ER room. The doctor this time was WONDERFUL. Oh I wish he were not an ER doc because I would insist that husband use him from now on! Of course, one could not help but notice Jerry was very weak. They pumped iv fluids into him rather quickly, and started running tests, tests, tests. His liver enzymes were elevated. He was severely dehydrated. He slept the entire time. He doesn't even remember the CT Scan that they took of his stomach. Or the x rays of his chest. They drew blood--multiple times--and he slept through it. Do you know how hard that was for me to watch? To know they were doing all this and he just kept sleeping. Not like in a coma, but they'd wake him up and say, "We are going to draw blood now." and he'd say "Ok" and go back to sleep.

The CT Scan of his stomach showed some abnormalities of his colon. With all his other symptoms it looked like he had C diff, so they started him on the antibiotics to treat that. They also ordered an MRI of his colon to see if they could find anything wrong.

Yesterday Jerry continued to improve. Having what they thought was C diff they put him in isolation. But he looked better, so I came home in a pretty upbeat mood last night. My computer had crashed due to a Windows automatic update (go figure) so this morning, computer was fixed; I was getting ready to write a post about C diff...when the phone rang. It was Jerry. He did not have C diff. WHAT??

Off to the hospital I go. Knowing it was not C diff, late last evening they went ahead with the MRI of his colon. Nothing found on that either. (that would be a good thing of course.) In the meantime, Jerry improved more and more all day today. He looks good. His eyes are normal. He talks normal. His headaches have been gone for 2 days. He was teasing me. I cried when he teased me. Silly me. It was just so nice to see that side of him again!!!

As I type, Jerry is FINALLY getting to eat food again. They are releasing him tomorrow. He will be weak, but he is so much better now.

What was wrong? No one knows. Why was his colon abnormal? Not sure. It could be from all the stomach distress; but he will need a colonoscopy soon just to be sure. His liver enzyemes still elevated? yes, but doc said it possibly could be from all the new meds. They will continue to monitor it.

How am I doing? Well...

How is Seth doing? He's a teenage boy...he goes with the flow. Plus he's not having to do any school work. I am very anxious to tell him about the alternative treatment to C diff. Sometimes antibiotics do not work. They have found a controversial treatment that does. You really should look it up. Especially if you have a teenage boy that would find that sort of thing very gross..yet very cool too.

How is Stephen doing?

I took this photo just a bit ago, in the car while driving home from the hospital (again).

He is so worn out. This morning when I was getting him ready to leave, he begged "Please we stay home mommy. Please."

So I took him in my lap, hugged him and explained that Daddy is still very sick and that I need to go be with him. Stephen started crying and said, "I fixed Daddys tummy. He come home. I fix him. I can fix him. Go bring him home."

Well, Stephen, how about tomorrow morning, we wake up and do exactly that!

Again...

Off to the hospital again this morning...

Jerry refuses to go to hospital #2. Wants to return to hospital # 1. (it is a LOT closer and right by Amy. And not in the middle of downtown KC. I will have to admit it is much more handy in a lot of ways.)

I've watched Jerry deteriorate before my eyes. He barely eats enough to stay alive--at least in my book. He eats less than Stephen does.Often what he does eat, comes back up. When he does try to get out of bed, it lasts for 10 min or less. And only twice a day to try to eat. He is losing so much weight. Don't know pounds...just see it.

His blood sugars are fine now; he is taking his insulin.
His headaches continue.
His nausea continues.

And there is the patter of little feet...I have to go get everyone ready for a long hard day...

ps..I have an ahhhh drawn up for tomorrow so if you don't see it right away, keep watching and I'll get it posted the minute I have time to edit the photos.

Jerry Update...

I am so sorry that I've not been able to reply to your comments. I told Jerry last night, as I was holding his hand in the ER, that he has people from all over the world lifting him in prayer. It has been such a whirlwind, let me see if I can update you...

Last I posted was Saturday..before his surgery...

Jerry did have his gall bladder surgery as scheduled on Monday. But that was so minor and so much the least of our worries. He's not even ever complained about pain in his stomach. He was consumed by other problems!

The longer Jerry stayed in the hospital, the worse his headaches became. They finally did a CT scan on Sunday (or so) and said that he had an acute sinus infection. Jerry is allergic to penicillin so they cannot use a strong antibiotic to knock it out as quickly as one would like, but they still put him on a drip antibiotic. His headaches worsened and worsened.

He looked so forward to his gall bladder surgery...so that he could have headache relief. Nothing was touching the pain. Morphine, vicodin, percoset, all the good stuff...he still remained in horrible pain. For some reason we could not get this hospital to get through their heads that the gall bladder really was the least of the worries. But, he got his surgery and a few hours relief. In fact he even ate afterwards; his first food in over 2 weeks.

Late Monday night he went into his worst episode yet. Nurses trying to get help, but he was told by his doc that he would just have to 'ride it out' and she sent him home Tuesday--even though his pain was intense.

Tuesday night he was up all night in extreme pain. Wednesday the headaches continued. No meds were helping. I finally called the ambulance and insisted that they take him to another hospital. Had myself a nice little argument with Mr. Arrogant Paramedic before they left. I could not get through his big head that we could care less about the surgery that Jerry just had on his stomach...that we are concerned about his HEAD.

Anyway, new hospital--St. Lukes. So much better. The doctor and I had a nice little chat out in the hallway (do you know I never get doctors to do that at Liberty hospital?!) The doctor tried one type of med for cluster headaches. It didn't touch it. Jerry was still in horrible pain. So the ER doc called another doc down from the floor to take over Jerry's case...and he found something that worked! He did! My husband slept. It was so nice.

We came back home late last night and spent all night in extreme pain again as I dont have a 24 hour pharmacy here. Every two hours I was pumping Jerry with either percoset or ibuprofin. Today at noon he took his first dose of the new stuff (since leaving the ER)..and he's slept over 4 hours straight.

Cause of headache? Unknown. But not sinus as the other hospital suggested. He has no fevers. When in extreme pain he trembles violently and gets into the fetal position. They could be triggered by his Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA)...and most likely are. He's still not eating (although must feel a bit better because he wants eggs for dinner. I had to go run and buy some as we don't normally eat them, but hey, I'll feed him whatever he wants!--except sugar.) He is still not over his DKA. He is still very dehydrated.

I am just taking one day at a time. And this day is the first in a week that we've not had to go to hospital or ER. I really probably shouldn't speak too soon, but I am feeling pretty positive that all is good until his meds run out anyway.

He has neurological physician he has to go see eventually. But I think that needs to wait until next week. There is only one working day remaining in this week.. and for that we all just need R.E.S.T.!!!! (and make a few doctor appointments probably...)

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Oh, I said this on fb but nearly forgot to put it here! You all know about my fabric group, well those wonderful ladies got together and donated all the money needed to pay for Jerry's prescriptions. You are not going to believe, WITH insurance they have totaled almost $500 --and the ladies collected just over $500 to help us. WOW! Do you know how nice it was to just pay those meds worry free? The ladies are going to do some other things too to help me pay other bills (like monthly meds, hospital stay, er visits (x2), ambulance ride, oy..I think I dont want to think about THAT anymore!). What a blessing the internet and all my internet friends have been to me.

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How am I? better emotionally than I was last week. Tired and have so much work to do. I think I have a wish...even if Jerry needs time to mend, I just want to stay home all weekend, and NOT GO ANYWHERE. Yes, that is the wish for the next three days. But, really,  I am doing much better than I was. Poor Jerry is not himself, and it is hard to watch him just lie in bed hour after hour after hour, shaking in pain. He never gets up. I really just want it all to end. That's my hope. Hopes are much bigger than wishes, you know.

Ketoacidosis among other things...

Oh, my friends, this time my husband just about did himself in. For real. The last few days have been quite scary indeed...

 By Friday morning Jerry realized something was seriously wrong and agreed to go to the Emergency room. He was to the point that he was barely able to walk, and when he got to the ER they didn't even make him wait. He was taken right into a room. By the time I got the boys delivered to their sister (thankfully only about 5 minutes from hospital!) and back to the ER; they had Jerry hooked up to IV's, and were starting tests. The nurse looked at me and said, "All we know is he is not going home anytime soon." I told her that I knew that.

Jerry's diabetes had spiraled so far out of control that he contracted a very dangerous condition called Diabetic Ketoacidosis. Since Jerry's body could not use sugar for fuel, it started eating away all the fat (even the good fat) and also released dangerous toxins into his body. By the time Friday had come around, he was very bad and just another day or two he would have gone into a coma or had a heart attack from low blood pressure (a symptom of Ketoacidosis). You can read more about Ketoacidosis RIGHT HERE.

Friday night Jerry was still not doing very well. He has only been on a clear liquid diet but they could not get his blood sugar down. This morning (Saturday) thankfully it was better. It sits around 160 at 3 hours after eating, which is still too high, but at least it is not at a dangerous level. Tonight (Saturday) he is still in intense pain. He sleeps around the clock...but it more alert this evening in the few moments that he is awake.

They have been running a multitude of tests on Jerry and his thyroid is not working, so he will be on medication for that. His gall bladder is infected and will be removed Monday morning.

As for me? I have been an emotional mess. From fear, to worry, to anger. I think you all know why without me getting into that. Two years ago this exact same weekend Jerry had a stroke...and this time around he was even closer to death's door. Well, at least this time it got Jerry's attention. When he's been awake, he's been emotional himself; scared, regretful and ready to improve.

While he hates putting things like insulin and medications into his body, he realizes that unless he does, his little boy and I will be putting him into a grave.

I continue to have fears and worry(and even anger)..."Will it work this time?".."Will he continue to rebel about doctor check ups and taking his meds?" It will take time for me to not worry about these things. I've never known any different. But, I love my husband. I remember who he used to be before two years ago and all the fun that we had. I want the Jerry who used to play guitar and write music. I want the Jerry that liked hiking with me in the woods. And mostly, I want our son to know this man.

By only the grace of God we have been given another chance.

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A word about the boys, as I am sure some are wondering: with my daughter living only 5 minutes from the hospital, she kept both boys until this morning. Seth then went with his father. I brought Stephen home with me tonight. Amy will be trying to catch up on missed sleep tonight/tomorrow (as she works nights and I nabbed her up Friday morning when she was sleeping.) She has to work tomorrow night, but will stay awake Monday morning to watch Stephen during surgery. As soon as Jerry is out of recovery, I'll have to take over Stephen so I will probably just come back home.

Stephen has enjoyed being royally spoiled by his Sissy, and he will write a blog post about it in the near future, I am sure...

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Hey, I never stop working. My fabric rep called me Friday, and I just happened to be on the way to grab a bite to eat when he called so I was able to talk and order in enough fabric to last us a couple of weeks anyway. As you all can see, now you know why I was dead set against getting a job and leaving Stephen home with Jerry. (he's gonna kill me when he reads that...and he will read this post. It might be a few weeks down the road before does, but he'll read it!) This fabric has helped a bit, but I only charge a few cents more than I pay a yard. I really don't want to change that. That is the entire point of what I do. So, that being said, we need a bit of a financial miracle right now, but God is bigger, huh?

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Thank you all for your kind words, and I am saying this to all of you: in blogland, facebook land, fabric land, and my Christian womens fellowship land. I have missed you. I am so thankful for each and every one of you.

Love, Tonya

Ahhhh 35--Dutch Tile

A little note about the home front before bringing you this weeks ahhhh....
Jerry has been off work; home ill for two weeks. He has finally just agreed today to go to the doctor; as he has taken a turn for the worse today. It is something stomach related--most likely gall bladder. (as we already know he has gall bladder disease.) He is having very strange symptoms...and NO he won't go to ER...well he said he just might in the morning. If not; he has an appointment with the gastro doc on Monday morning. (Hey, that is good for this man!)

I just realized today that it was two years ago today that he had his stroke. It took more than 3 days to get him to the ER for that! My inner me worries though, because his symptoms match the symptoms he had when they discovered his colon cancer. Well, anyway, you know me...just fly by the seat of my pants while carrying the world on my shoulders.

My little fabric business continues to grow and while I am not making as much as I would working outside of the home...I don't think I've eaten a bowl of beans since I started it up. LOL!!!! I am serious! I am very weary as I often have to stay up until 3 to work; but still so happy to be at home and not complaining at all about that! The ladies are so kind (as all quilters are!) and they encourage me, and help me as we all learn how to do this together.

I have two different people looking into helping me learn to draw the ahhhhs in a computer program. Isn't that wonderful?? Oh I just cannot wait...ecstatic!

Speaking of ahhhs...I love this week's as much as the last one. Of course with all going on; I didn't get it sewn, but I did get it colored...and the best part of that? As I ran upstairs to help my husband as he was gripped with vomiting (again)(no--that is not the best part); Stephen took over and helped me. (that is the best part) He is so gifted!

I needed to bring you this ahhhh. I know I didn't have to. But I did. For me. Hope you enjoy it :)

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Ahhhhh 35 ---the Dutch Tile--- was published in the World Herald on Jan 4, 1934.

I started using new ahhhh drawing tools, and they work better than anything I've tried yet!

Yes, these Pilot friXion pens.

 Did you know that that was an eraser on the end? It works so good, and doesn't leave any residue and completely removes the lines.

When I started drawing, I actually used the sewline pencil.

While it worked good for me, I know now that it is hard for you to see.

I am going to go buy some more FriXion colors tomorrow.

If you look really closely you can see that the hexagon is slice divided.

Then it has three lines borders all the way around the top, one at 1/4"; 1/2" and 3/4". (of course this is because my triangles are 1/2" size.)

This proud mother was quite impressed with his red line on the right side.

I wasn't there, but we've been working on him drawing on lines when we do his school work.

I can tell he tried to stay inside the area--that makes for a proud teacher-momma!

Fabric! Fabric!

I have added fabric for sale right here on the blog. These are closeouts of my closeouts. How is that for a good deal? The other group has had a go of these for several weeks, so now it is your turn. I have to have constant turn around, so when they are not moving...I'll bring them here and offer them to you.

I've marked all fabric yardages at $4 yd and all fat quarters are just 99 cents.

Riley Blake, Westminster/Free Spirit, yummies!

Just look under the appropriate tab up top. Examples of current fabrics:

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Ya, I pretty much only get to finger fabric right now.

I did attempt a trade show Saturday.

I've now given up on those. 

I took 3 huge rubbermade crates of finished crafts.

At the end of the show I just dumped two thirds on the tables and gave them away for free.

I've lugged them around for too long and it is discouraging to say the least.

Giving them away and having them out of my hair--relief!

When I do get to sew again--it will be for gifts.

Hope you all are doing well.

Thanks to those of you that check in on me!

Ahhhh 34-- Diamond String

Today's Artistic, Hexotic, Hop-A-Long, Hex-a-long, Hillbilly, Hectic Hexie was designed by Nancy Page and appeared in The Nashville Banner on March 6, 1934.

I really love this design...only for some reason almost every thing I touch since Stephen was born--I completely mess up. (Wait til you see what I did to Convergence #3. Oy!!)

So...here is...once again NOT MY VERSION: (but very pretty in spite of the fuzz)...

And I bet you will be SO happy with me...because this is an easy one this week!

I'll not make you wait until I fix all my wrong colors.

You'll just have to deal with push pins instead.

Wait just ahhhhhhhhhh bit.....

I am trying so hard to FINALLY get an ahhh on here that I personally made. The block this week is one of my favorites. I just love it.

Do you know this is the first sewing I've picked up in weeks? Weeks I tell you!

So please, I know you in Australia are ready for it right now...and to you I apologize. But it will be worth your wait.

I thought I could finish it today. Ha! That shows me, doesn't it?

Anyway I only got 3.5 hours sleep last night and am so exhausted tonight, so I am going to sleep on it and finish up as fast as my fingers (and mostly my family) will let me in the morning.

I hope you think it's worth the wait too!

PS...I turned off comments for this post only. I am not trying to be mean...just want to cut down on my morning emails so that I can ahhhhh...sew!

Winner among other things...

I appreciate the opportunity to have this particular traveling stash. The originator has been so good to keep up on it; find out where it is, who won it; where it is going to next and stay on top of me for blogging about it. Ha! Little does she know that I LOVE to blog and my hiatus from blog land is not something I covet. At all.

But having the opportunity to announce the winner gives me an excuse to type up a Monday Random. That makes me smile; how about you? Of course I'll announce the random winner too.

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Life Random:

 My husband did NOT get his job promotion. We are all glad about it. Yes, a small pay raise might have been nice. A move--not so much. We are all weary of moving around; and unless some prison springs up between here and my beloved Branson Ozark Hills--then we'll just stay here.

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School Random:

The boys are doing great this year in school. Stephen gets my undivided attention from 8-10 every morning; then the rest of the day we work on Seth's as we can. We often save the harder subjects for the evening. Stephen has been enjoying studying bugs and our living room looks like an official preschool with the alphabet train on one wall and the huge grass and bug habitat on the other.

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Fabric Random:

My new fabric selling auction site is still growing with leaps and bounds. I have cut down in invoicing only once a week. I invoiced exactly 40 buyers this past weekend. But I do have some fabric left over that I need to move out of here. I am still considering placing them on a page on this blog. It is all closeout fabrics from Riley Blake. Is there any interest at all? Here is one example of some that I have available for $4.65/yd.

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Sewing Random:

I am working on an actual Ahhhh with real fabric for this week. Imagine that! I have a photo of some Ahhh's from Ann in Australia. She doesn't have a blog but she shared her Ahhhh's with me. Aren't they beautiful?

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Random Winner:

Hey, I made you read this far so I guess it's time, huh? Thanks for listening. It was so nice to blog. I still refuse to get back into it until I can devote time to reading blogs. Anyway...Mrs Facebook Random Friend says that...

Jill Martin

is the winner!