Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The tunnel of Doom and other spins and turns

My friends, here's a crazy one for you. Jerry is home.

I am going to describe a few things that happened this weekend; just so you can enjoy a bit of this coaster ride, you know? (I used to love coasters, I think I am very tired of riding them now.)

Friday--Jerry goes in for stroke and needs blood transfusion--2 bags.

Saturday--Neurologist comes in to warn us that he could have another stroke any time. Informs us that he read the MRI and that Jerry's had multiple strokes since his last MRI a couple of weeks ago. Says there is not a thing anyone could do. I ask him chanced of Jerry having a massive stroke and he said very very high chance.

Sunday-- (I think we should call this the Day of Doom Tunnel or something.) Upon my arrival I note that Jerry has had another stroke, although only I can tell yet. As the day progresses his nurse notices the signs. Calls the neurologist--nothing he can do just let him go. * Weekend on call practitioner shows up--wants to schedule surgery to remove Jerry's colon asap. He wants to get the bleeding stopped, then Jerry can get on blood thinners to stop strokes. Doctor is very concerned; was blunt that a massive stroke could happen anytime. * Weekend GI doc comes in. Says there is no way Jerry can have surgery. The bleeding is up high, coming from esophagus. There is nothing anyone can do but let it heal on its own. The sores are too massive to cauterize. * Jerry's lost so much blood in two days he has to have 2 more transfusions. * After docs leave, we cry some tears, make some plans. I call Jerry's family, Jerry works on writing letters and telling me who gets what of his possessions.

Monday--wait all day, never see a single doc until evening. GI doc (different one from the group) comes and and washes his hands of Jerry because he is too complex of a case. Says he's transferring Jerry back to KU. (we would have gone there first if we weren't coming in for the stroke. We really like the neurologist at Liberty...alot..and that is all we thought we were dealing with this go around) * Not ten minutes later Jerry's regular practitioner comes in. He says, no he's not transferring Jerry to KU, in fact hes sending him home on Tuesday if Jerry's hemoglobin count is good.

Tuesday--Jerry sees some therapists for his left arm due to a small loss of movement. Never sees another doc until after 5. Doc comes in and says hes sending Jerry home right then. And get this..doc says Jerry CAN return to work. (insert very frustrating ugh.)

Wednesday (today) Jerry has to return to hospital for lab work to watch his hemoglobin and will return every 48 hours for a time. Especially after they decide that he can go on blood thinners.

--------------------------------

An observation: If Jerry had not had woken with the stroke on Friday, I am not sure how things would have progressed. It has been very typical through this entire process for me to just let him sleep hours on end. If he would have just laid down and gone to sleep...I would have just let him sleep and sleep. We are thankful for the stroke because then we found out about his bleeding so badly. We have agreed from this point forward that I wake him after 8-10 hours or so and check on him to make sure he's not had a bad stroke. The hospital will be monitoring his bleeding thankfully.

------------------------------------

In the midst of all this there has been some behind the scenes drama that we did not need. I think some might say that I was over dramatic about it all...especially since my husband is resting peacefully upstairs in his own bed right now.

That could all change tomorrow. He could heal, he could have a stroke. Only ONE knows the answer to that.

44 comments:

Groovy Pumpkin said...

Hello Tonya. Yes to 'call the family', and 'make final plans'. It might be painful for you all, but I think it would be worth the effort.

I think of you every day.

I can't say any more than that, for now. Take care xxxxxxx

Belinda said...

Oh Tonya. I don't know how you are holding up under all this. Yes, I believe I would do all of that. Why wouldn't you if you thought time was that short?
I'm sorry about the drama you have to deal with along with all this.
May God give you strength to deal with all this, and be with Jerry. I pray he does improve and all this will just be a bad memory.
<3

Alcippe said...

I would certainly call in the family and discuss final plans. I feel certain that the family would be more upset had you not at least called.
Discussing final plans is very important at any time in a relationship, not just when one is sick. Since I am in a "non-traditional" relationship, it is something we discuss on a fairly regular basis. Its not morbid, its responsible.
Everybody is different and handle stress and illness in their own way. I don't think there is just one right or wrong way to handle such matters.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I keep you in my thoughts daily!

Ann Marie @ 16 Muddy Feet said...

Yes, Yes, and Yes. So if there is anyone that wants to say goodbye, they can still do it while he knows who they are, or while he is still here. Also it is a nightmare after death to take care of responsibilities that were not planned out. Sometimes one piece of signed paper can be the difference between easy cleanup and a total nightmare devastation.

Example went to visit husbands grandparents for the first time, grandma seemed to act strange I asked others about her odd behavior they didn't notice until I pointed it out. Took her to the Doc the following week, she had a HUGE brain tumor, they weren't gonna tell grandpa, I told them all that was a big mistake. Two weeks later, she didn't even know who grandpa was anymore. He was upset that noone told him, because now they couldn't say their proper good byes. She died 4 weeks after that. She was his caretaker, he died 6 months later, gave up on life and was still upset. So now they are together in Heaven.

So if the family gets P.O.'d now, let them. Better now when Jerry is here to defend you and the actions the two of you have decided on, then have all the drama during a funeral and you have to take it all yourself. ((Praying there is NO funeral in the first place though))

My philosophy in life is prepare for the worse, and it prevents most of it from happening.

I would also be taking him back to KU to see the neurologist there if you like that one better, this week too. Follow your gut feeling it is never wrong. If I wouldn't have followed mine when my husband was sick, he wouldn't be here right now. But I followed my gut feeling, did my own research, got them to run tests I wanted done, the doc said I didn't need. That is what saved his life. So follow your gut feeling, go to KU.

HollyCraft Originals said...

When my Dad was very ill I kept in mind the promise in the Bible that "[God] will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away."​—Revelation 21:4.
Thinking of you. <3

Marcia - Crafty Sewing and Quilting said...

You were right to call in the family and make final plans... I am sending lots of love and positive thoughts and prayers your way... You have had a lot to handle and I want you to know we are all thinking about you and supporting you in your time of need.

Angie said...

You know what?? No one can complain about how you're handling things-becasue no one else has been on this 'ride' like you have.

I say you've done what you knew to do and how could you do more?

Praying for you and Jerry continually.

Ruth said...

Call the family and make final plans. We lost both our moms this year, and we called the families. The wills, plans had already been done.

We were so glad we did this. My MIL recovered 3 times from catastrophe, and the family was there, and we all breathed sighs of relief.

It's so important to have wills while the person can make good decisions.

If the family thinks you are crying wolf, that's their problem. You take care of yourself and Jerry, and Piffle upon them.

Ruth said...

Call the family and make final plans. We lost both our moms this year, and we called the families. The wills, plans had already been done.

We were so glad we did this. My MIL recovered 3 times from catastrophe, and the family was there, and we all breathed sighs of relief.

It's so important to have wills while the person can make good decisions.

If the family thinks you are crying wolf, that's their problem. You take care of yourself and Jerry, and Piffle upon them.

Sunnybec said...

Tonya I have had my fill of family just recently and I now think ... tough. Your first priority is you, Jerry and the kids, you did the right thing, if they don't like it that's their problem. Just you concentrate on getting Jerry better - don't worry about anything else. Hugs

Vroomans' Quilts said...

I think your were certainly right in notifying family - they can leave their'non-support' at home and to themselves. But, I would certainly go to a better hospital!

Mommarock said...

My parents have everything planned out and paid for for their final arrangements. They don't plan on going anytime soon, but everything is all taken care of so that it isn't any greater burden on those who are left behind as there will be stress enough. Lord knows you are going through enough right now, and something like that would be twice as much stress. To be able to take a few things off your plate ahead of time and not have to think about them or deal with them would be a blessing. If you don't have to deal with them, then FINE! But to not have to worry that they weren't taken care of.. well one deep breath you can take. Oh, and no one elses business but yours and Jerry's.

Snoodles said...

I agree with the others....do what you and Jerry feel is the right thing, and leave the rest to our Father. If family has fits or says hurtful things, that is their own sin and selfishness, no concern of yours. Praying much for all of you.

Caron Mosey said...

Keeping you and Jerry and your family in my prayers.

Sharon said...

Yes, indeed, I would call the family if doctors told me that! When my mom was in the hospital with pneumonia, I wish the doctors would have specifically told us she might not make it so we could have called the family to make their trips to see her. I am still upset they did not even give us a clue and she died. *sigh* Families should stick together through illness, not create problems, since there is enough worry for those who are closest to the patient. I've been praying for Jerry and you every day and hope that he continues to heal.

Christine M said...

Thinking of you all Tonya. Hugs, Christine

Patty said...

Just a note to let you know I will keep y'all in my prayers.

Fiona said...

Thinking of you my friend... not easy times....xx
Hugz

barbara woods said...

praying for you and him

Brandy said...

Speaking from Jerry's side of the family, we're very grateful that we were called, it would be heartbreaking to hear about such a severe scare after the fact. We'd like to be kept informed as much as humanly possible, but understand that the stress makes it all that much more difficult on you. We love him very much and are all praying for him to fully recover and never have to see the inside of a hospital again. This has been so difficult for you all...what a relief it will be when he's finally better and back to normal.(LOL!! Whatever normal is! LOL!)

Pokey said...

My goodness, all that, and the drs. say HE - CAN - RETURN - TO - WORK???? Amazing. Who can you trust? The prayers are continuing for you all.!
hugs, pokey

elliek said...

What more can be said. You are all still in my prayers( although I get the feeling he's decided not to listen to me anymore) but I will keep going with them.Hope and pray that there is some improvement soon. Hang in there, hugs coming your way.

QuiltSue said...

I think you should do whatever feels right, but oh what a roller coaster it is. You must be so tired of all the stress and worry. I hope Jerry gets well again now he is back in his own bed.

rosie said...

Tonya, sounds like your hospital system is in the same mess ours is.. I agree with the girls, go with your gut feelings always..
I do hope and pray that next week will be the best ever for you both.xx

Pat said...

Oh Tonya, what a roller coaster. Keeping you in prayer still xx

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Carla said...

Holy cow girl. So sorry to read about all this but I'm glad he's home and resting in his own bed.

No one should say anything about how you have handled this. Until they're in this position you don't really know how you'll it.

I know when my dad had major surgery about 5 years ago they weren't sure he'd survive so my step mother had him picking out his casket and making plans. At the time I thought "wow let's be more positive but in hind site I see she was trying to plan ahead. It was her timing but now it's done when it's really needed. My dad did survive.
Hugs to you and prayers.

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