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This blog is now all about my personal life, including updates concerning Jerry's health. For quilt and pattern related posts please visit HillbillyQuiltShop.blogspot.com

Monday, October 15, 2012

Is this 7 or 8?

An exciting Ahhhh update is written at the bottom of this post. You can skip down if you don't want to read personal 'stuff'. 

It is the middle of the night and I belong in bed. Last night I never went to bed, and here it is after 2 tonight (or I guess I should say this morning.)

I was laying in bed (the couch for me) thinking...how long has this gone on? 7 weeks? 8 weeks? One of those.

Is Jerry improving? Maybe. I guess. I mean he went from never eating, to eating once a day in bed, to now where he tries to eat at least twice a day at the table. He's eating more. But I don't see any weight on his bones. He tried to go to work one day last week. It is a long walk into the prison. Too far for someone who does not have the strength to even stand and shower or ever leave his room except to force himself so that he can eat. He had to come back home.

Today the boys and I wanted to go to church. Jerry thought that sounded nice too. Until he woke up and spent a half an hour gagging. By that time I just didn't have the heart to go either.

I rarely leave the house; although I took time with my children to go to a corn maze Friday night. We all needed that. Stephen isn't very nice to his daddy anymore. Jerry tries to talk to him...but Stephen being a 2 yr old has adapted to life without his daddy. He does run into Jerry's room and try to interact, and Jerry tries too..but the moments are few and far between. It is all so sad.

We've all adapted. My husband does not have the strength to show me affection anymore. I savor a nice hug maybe in the morning after I cook his breakfast. That hug is not easy though, since I can feel each and every bone, with no muscle/meat attached it seems.

I am a single mom who runs a business, who homeschools, who cares full time for an invalid. Or at least that is how it plays out. For sure adaptions have had to be made.

With the exception of the weekends (when I have to do fabric invoices) I try to get lots of sleep. I need the rest so even though I often stay up all night Saturday nights, the rest of the week I sleep naps and night as much as I can. I have too much to do to run through life weary. Even the fabric has to wait.

Tomorrow we are going to try to get help for Jerry again. He doesn't have a doc appt for a week and a half. That is too long away. He has worked hard to stay home from the hospital for an entire week. And he's weary. Depressed. So so depressed. Yes, it is time to try to get help again.

Well, I really cannot say more, so lets move on, Ok?

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I just got the COOLEST fabric in for Ahhhh kits...and I am in discussion with another company for something else for those kits. I am excited about that! Cross your fingers that I can get that worked out. If it does, then perhaps we'll start with some of the easiest designs and make some placemats or runners or something. I don't know, what do you think? What would be the best use of 3 or 4 ahhhhs? Ideas, please share ideas. Give me a distraction...something to think about, something to create!

13 comments:

Dorian said...

Dear Tonya, continued prayers for you and your family. I know how very hard it is to do all it is you have to do. Get your strength from God, knowing he is holding your hand. (((HUGS)))

Marjorie's Busy Corner said...

Oh Tanya!! I haven't been reading much lately, things have been crazy here all summer too. But I had no idea that your husband was sick I am so very sorry that you are going through this. You are in my thoughts; praying that things improve for all of you.

My Sister Made Me Do It.... said...

I know when everything seems so crazy it is hard to think about the light at the end of the tunnel.....and right now it seems like you just can't get away from one setback after another. I can't say I know how you feel but I can say that I am praying for you and that I know that this time will someday be in the past and I beg you to try to find time for yourself in the midst of trying to care for everyone else. God Bless you.

Jill Martin said...

I am glad for the update on Jerry but sad the medical issues are not all resolved. Back to the Ahh's placemats sound good. Then a runner when we get up to speed. Can't stand the wait till the kits are ready. I like the way you combine fabrics. There is always something to marvel at when I see them. Hoping you have a creative week ahead.

Belinda said...

Still praying girl.

Will your kits have instructions? I might just be able to figure it out and actually attempt one if they have good instructions. :P

Vroomans' Quilts said...

Prayers and hugs my dear friend. Yes, you need to find some time for you - that is a huge problem with someone who caretakes - you get bumped to the bottom of the list and that is not good. I would attempt an AAHH if kitted and a runner sounds like a great plan. Sending smiles.

KatieQ said...

You and Jerry are in my prayers daily. I didn't realize he had dropped so much weight. I'm not surprised that he is depressed. The uncertainty must hang heavily on him. You have so much on your shoulders, it sounds as though you are hanging on by a thread. I hope you are able to carve out a little piece of time for yourself each day to support your own sanity.

Snoodles said...

I'm praying that you will find a doctor that will be able to help him...there must be something that they are missing....I'll keep praying for you, too, my friend. Hugs and special thoughts headed your way. :)

Mary L. said...

Continue to keep you in my prayers

Patty said...

Oh Darlin', Is there anyone to help ya out, to watch the house so you caqn find some me time. You sound so down. The folks in your life need you, but not a "down and out" you. Prayers and hugs your way.
Oh, and mug rugs or table toppers sound fun and relatively easy for your Ahs.

QuiltSue said...

Life is full of ups and downs isn't it? I'm sorry you're going through so many downs at the moment, but hopefully there'll be a whole load of ups soon for all of you.

Carla said...

Dang I was hoping for signs of some improvement. Prayers and hugs to you and yours.

You do need to make yourself take time for you. Even if it's just a couple of hours. Hope you find some help for hubby soon.

Did I tell you I got my fabric? I did. It's waiting for a project. lol

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