An exciting Ahhhh update is written at the bottom of this post. You can skip down if you don't want to read personal 'stuff'.
It is the middle of the night and I belong in bed. Last night I never went to bed, and here it is after 2 tonight (or I guess I should say this morning.)
I was laying in bed (the couch for me) thinking...how long has this gone on? 7 weeks? 8 weeks? One of those.
Is Jerry improving? Maybe. I guess. I mean he went from never eating, to eating once a day in bed, to now where he tries to eat at least twice a day at the table. He's eating more. But I don't see any weight on his bones. He tried to go to work one day last week. It is a long walk into the prison. Too far for someone who does not have the strength to even stand and shower or ever leave his room except to force himself so that he can eat. He had to come back home.
Today the boys and I wanted to go to church. Jerry thought that sounded nice too. Until he woke up and spent a half an hour gagging. By that time I just didn't have the heart to go either.
I rarely leave the house; although I took time with my children to go to a corn maze Friday night. We all needed that. Stephen isn't very nice to his daddy anymore. Jerry tries to talk to him...but Stephen being a 2 yr old has adapted to life without his daddy. He does run into Jerry's room and try to interact, and Jerry tries too..but the moments are few and far between. It is all so sad.
We've all adapted. My husband does not have the strength to show me affection anymore. I savor a nice hug maybe in the morning after I cook his breakfast. That hug is not easy though, since I can feel each and every bone, with no muscle/meat attached it seems.
I am a single mom who runs a business, who homeschools, who cares full time for an invalid. Or at least that is how it plays out. For sure adaptions have had to be made.
With the exception of the weekends (when I have to do fabric invoices) I try to get lots of sleep. I need the rest so even though I often stay up all night Saturday nights, the rest of the week I sleep naps and night as much as I can. I have too much to do to run through life weary. Even the fabric has to wait.
Tomorrow we are going to try to get help for Jerry again. He doesn't have a doc appt for a week and a half. That is too long away. He has worked hard to stay home from the hospital for an entire week. And he's weary. Depressed. So so depressed. Yes, it is time to try to get help again.
Well, I really cannot say more, so lets move on, Ok?
I just got the COOLEST fabric in for Ahhhh kits...and I am in discussion with another company for something else for those kits. I am excited about that! Cross your fingers that I can get that worked out. If it does, then perhaps we'll start with some of the easiest designs and make some placemats or runners or something. I don't know, what do you think? What would be the best use of 3 or 4 ahhhhs? Ideas, please share ideas. Give me a distraction...something to think about, something to create!