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Saturday, June 9, 2012


I got a very not so nice email today. Someone writing about a blog post that I wrote awhile back about my beautiful part Hawaiian daughter. I guess that I was wrong in saying about my daughters lineage.

While I would not normally quote an email, I think this time it is in order so that you can get the full story behind this post. Besides the email is a blog comment, so why not post it?

Here is the email/comment:

 I was so very insulted at a posting that you placed this month that I found an urgency to send you this email.

I have never thought it my place to correct anyone on what they think or believe, but this post disgusted me so much I found it necessary to ease my own pain.

First... There is no such thing as Princess Kaiuluni!!!

Second... Princess Kaiulani died at such a young age that she didn't have an opportunity to have children. Because of this, there are no direct descendants of our great royal family.

How dare you pawn your family off as royalty!!! If you and/or your daughter were in any way Hawaiian, you would have pride enough not to lie about who you are.
You should be ashamed of yourself and you owe an apology to All Hawaiian People!!!

And now my public reply.  This is just what I've always been told. I guess that I erred in saying that my daughter was Princess Kaʻiulani' great great grand-daughter.

But I can assure you that I'VE ALWAYS BEEN TOLD that she is of Hawaiian royal lineage.

My daughter's father (my ex husband) has free land in Hawaii if he ever wants to claim it...due to his heritage.

So here is my public apology to all Hawaiian people. I apologized to some in person today. They laughed it off.

Oh, and here is a recent photo of my daughter's grandmother. I don't know...she looks awful Hawaiian to me. And she sure can speak the language. And she has all her siblings in Hawaii and nieces and nephews.

Well, you get my point...

To you who wrote the email....find someone else to pick on.

To my it any wonder why sometimes I just want to hang up the blogging towel. I already bowed out of one blog this week. I don't handle this kind of thing very well. Not at all. I will probably toss and turn all night. I think I still need more blogcation time.

Oh and by the way, yes Amy is Hawaiian and my boys are not. And yes I've been recently re-married again.
I've been married three times. (I figured this post would make you all see this, so I might as well admit it.)
If we are going to throw stones then start throwing. 
But I warn you, my GOD knows. He knows why I've been through these things. And I've come out the other side on top!

As for  L. B....I'll not accept any further communication from you. Your email is now blocked: oh and...
Aloha `oe 
Me ka `oia`i`o.


hope said...

My year has been so yuck that I haven't been in blog land lately and didn't see the post about you beautiful daughter however I'm sending you a hug tonight. Try not to let petty people ruin your night.

Hugs, Hope

Colleen said...

Dont let the haters get you down! We only have control over ourselves. Others have no right to judge any one but themselves. Block the haters but dont leave your blog. Some of us love to read it even if we are guilty of not always commenting. Bloggy Love!!!

Snoodles said...

Sometimes I have to laugh at the things that people get in an uproar silly for that person to come after you like that. She/he must have WAY too much time on their hands. LOL
Don't let these people get you down, my friend....just one or two bad apples amongst hundreds of good ones. The ones that look forward to your posts, read them with interest and enjoyment, and love what you share with us! What a sweet picture of three beautiful people there!
By the way....could you translate that Hawaiian text for me? I'd love to know....
Hugs to you!

Vroomans' Quilts said...

Oh, don't leave us - you made your appology to be polite to someone not quite so polite. Many hugs my dear friend.

Aimee said...

Bah. Some people are just made of stupid. People like this hurt others to make their own life feel some what less pathetic. Sorry the trolls found you. Don't stop blogging because of the ignorance of one out of hundreds.

Pam at Antique or Not said...

It never seems to amaze me how some people have so much time on their hands, and so much hatred in their hearts. Kudos to you for handling what must be an awkward situation in such a classy way.

Please try not to let it get you down; just consider the source.

Big hugs to you!

Christine M said...

Hi Tonya, Some people have nothing better to do than criticise others. You were just telling things as you were told. How dare they be so rude. Please forget all about them and don't give up blogging. We would miss you. Hugs, Christine

Samantha said...

Some people are so rude! I've had similar things happen to me in the past, only in person, not via email. I have learned to ignore the haters. My philosophy... "People are crazy!"

:D Hope you can ignore this nitwit and move on.

Fiona said...

Please don't even consider hanging up on blogging... there are too many of us who would miss you.... we can all make mistakes and don't need to be judged for it.... some people in our world are worth ignoring

Teresa in Music City said...

Amazing! I got a kick out of the fact that first she said there was no such thing as this Princess, THEN she said the Princess died at a young age.... which one is it? She didn't exist? Or she died too young? And who says she is such an expert anyway? How do we know that she even knows anything about it at all?

I sure do hope you don't let someone else's problems stop you from sharing with your friends here in blogland. And most certainly don't let anyone's opinion about how you choose to spend your life bother you! It's your life, and you're the one who has to live it. Let them rule their own lives!!!

Pat V. said...

Wait a minute, if there's no such person as Princess Kaiuluni, then how did she die young? Just sayin...

Don't let it get you down. Thanks again for all the bingo fun!

Sunnybec said...

Wow she came on a bit strong didn't she. There is a way of telling people they got things wrong and that wasn't the way. I read lots of things said about English people some are totally wrong and some are down right rude but .... I just ignore them and if they upset me that much I just stop following them....much less stressful on both sides. Just delete these sort of emails immediately so you can't dwell on them.... life is too short. Congrats on the three husbands I have only been able to find one!!!!!! Hugs xxxx

elliek said...

Pat and Teresa said what I was thinking. Contradiction to a fault.

Jindi's Cottage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jindi's Cottage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jindi's Cottage said...

OMG who died and made her Queen of the Hawaiians! What a not very nice person. OK so she wanted to dispel what she saw as some misconceptions...she couldn't do that nicely? Good on you for shaming her in pubic and for blocking her so she can't harass you anymore. I'm sure your daughter's family know their personal family history a whole lot better than some random stranger does. Oh and ditto to Teresa's first paragraph and Pat V...did Princess Kaiuluni exist or not, and seriously, no such "thing" as Princess Kaiuluni? She is insulted by your daughter's heritage and yet she calls an Hawaiian princess (who may or may not have existed, she hasn't yet decided) a "thing". If that isn't an insult what is? My first impression was oh you are so smart....write a nasty email "correcting" someone and start out by contradicting yourself!!!
Don't let her get to you, she isn't worth it. If anyone needs to apologise it is her to you and your daughter's family not you to the entire Hawaiian nation!

Ullhärvan said...

Don't stop blogging, we'd miss you a lot! Some people must be feeling so bad and wants everyone else to feel worse. I hope you don't think too much about it and will be able to sleep at night!

QuiltSue said...

Honestly, don't you just have to wonder about some people? What a very rude person he'she is, and also obviously confused. I mean, if the princess didn't exist, how could she have died young?

Sadly there seems to be a lot of this sort of cyber-bullying going on at the moment. You're not the only one I've heard from who is considering closing their blog because of their hurt. Please don't go.

Sarah {The Student Knitter} said...

I want to believe that the person who wrote you the email is basically good, but responded ill to your blog on an already bad day for her. You probably caught the brunt end of a lot of frustration that should have been pointed else where.

In other words: know that this has nothing to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with the writer. :)

~Kelie~ said...

I wouldn't worry about it! You know what you've been told, that's that!!!! As for anyone else that has a problem with ANYTHING about your family, let them do the job of proving you wrong. I believe they have no right to tell you about YOUR daughter's family. Just brush it off, and hold your head high!!!! Don't give up blogging, I LOVE READING YOUR BLOG!!!!!

Me and My Stitches said...

Don't let one little hater get you down! Some people just don't have enough to do and feel the need to nit-pick others!

Belinda said...

It's really very sad that when you put yourself out there, and write what you feel in your heart is honestly true, that others feel they are so superior, they are entitled to tear you down. To say such negative things to someone, to put you down in such an ugly way only shows how miserable they really are in their own life.
There will always be those who criticize. Shake the dust off your sandals girl. We love you and enjoy your posts no matter the subject matter.
The delete and block buttons are there for a good reason. Heh heh!!

Jan said...

As everyone else has said and I agree ,you must not stop blogging on account of this person ,'no such person ,...who died young ' Hmm ? Oh and I have had three husbands too.... any advance on that anyone ? love Jan xx

Patty@Granma's said...

The beauty of snail mail has always been in the fact a person could write out an angry message, read it over and over till they got it off their chest, and then rip the thing to shreds without sending it!
In email they hit the send button and OOPS! all the things they would never say outloud are public knowledge!
Sometimes I write a comment and then leave it on my computer for a hour to see if it still makes sense, and is not going to be taken wrong by someone else.
We should all be a little slower to criticize.
Three hugs to you dear, and those three lovely children!
Now take a deep breath and go sew something fabulous!

Lynda said...

Don't leave blogland. I always enjoy your posts and your funny look at what life tosses at you and the comments from your son and and and!

Heather said...

How horrible! I think everyone else has pretty much said it all. Want me to beat them up, Sis? J/K! lol :)

TheBeasKnees said...

Shame on L.B.! I wonder if she would have been so IGNORANT to you if she had to stand in front of you to say those things! I don't normally comment when bloggers call out people like this; to me it is a bit too persona. But honestly, e-mail and blogs allow people to be very UGLY without having to take ownership/responsibility of their behavior. And quite frankly, what is her problem? Why does she have such a huge chip on her shoulder? What does she have to hide? Me thinks she doth protest too much!

Pat said...

Oh my, what a charmer!
Tonya, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Don't stop doing what you love because of one insignificant person who thinks they have the right to speak for the whole Hawaiian nation. Last I looked, no-one had that right!
to quote a current English poster "Keep Calm and Carry On!"

Patty said...

Just this ..............Please ignore wierdo's comment. I LOVE your blog and the eye candy. Thanks for being out there for the rest of us.

hennies.pennies said...

You cannot control what other people do or say. Some people can be so rude and they certainly don't deserve any energy you might spend on wondering why. Your blog is a blessing to many. Don't let one fool spoil that for you or your readers. I think a good rule to live by is that 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'. People who feel the need to attack others have some problems...and you can't fix them... Be especially blessed, and please... sleep well!!

Sally said...

How very rude. Glad you blocked her.

Princess Kaʻiulani died when she was 24, and while that is young, it's not too young to have had a child (although I don't know if she did) and it's very possible that your daughter is a descendant of one of the other royals. Princess Ka'iulani was the neice of the last King and of the last Queen, his sister, but he had been chosen over a competing line (one of whom was engaged to the Princess, I think). There are still several Royals around. Ka'iulani was the daughter of Archibald Cleghorn, one of my relatives, who had 3 other children (her half-sisters) although I don't beleive any of their descendants are considered Royal.

becky said...

Some one always has something to say about everyone else.I just tell them to get a little self education before speaking and judging others.Please don't let these people get to you they are not worth it.A lot of us enjoy your blog and nothing but nice and appreciative thoughts and comments.Thank-you for what you offer.

Julie Fukuda said...

It seems there are always people in this world who are ready to give you a piece of their mind. Trouble is, they have already given so much to so many others, they have little left. As someone has already said, the only thing you have control over, other than blocking after the fact, is your reaction. Forgive her. Those are HER issues, not yours. The blogging world is full of much nicer, kinder,supportive and inspiring people.
By the way, I have heard ethnic Hawaiian quilters saying unkind things about non or half Hawaiian quilters using "their" designs. There may be issues simmering that some can not let go of. Coming from a family that is a huge melting pot, I have heard this kind of thing from nearly every side.

Margaret said...

I for one truly enjoy your blog and would be very sad if you stopped because of one rude spiteful person. Whatever your daughter's heritage, she had no right to attack you in such a mean and hurtful way. She also doesn't have a clue either as she says there is no princess and then that said non existing princess died young and then calls the princess her royal family. Not sure how that is if she didn't exist. Just blow her off and keep up the good job you are doing on your blog. I love you even if she doesn't.

VickiT said...

Oh geez. I guess she is having a bad day....or something lately.
I find it so funny that people will write to someone about their blog to 'correct' them, or give them a history lesson or whatever she considered it to be and then?? make a numbered list of the reasons why you are totally wrong. AND then in reading her little list if you are really paying attention to her little list to actually try to understand how she's even proven a point at all when each statement on her list contradicts the other.

HOW can both of these things on her list be true?
First... There is no such thing as Princess Kaiuluni!!!

Second... Princess Kaiulani died at such a young age that she didn't have an opportunity to have children....

Ummm if there was no such person then how would it also be in 'her' history book that's in her mind (or whereve she got this info) that this same person who never existed also died at such a young age to never have had any children?

Maybe I'm being totally dense but can people who never existed actually HAVE or NO have children?

Rhonda at Cobblestone Quilting said...

You go girl!

Bren said...

I left my blog for months because of a mean woman....don't make my mistake. I understand though. I don't do well with mean people.
As for the content of her meanness....she has no clue. Sally made that clear!

Grace InAZ said...

You have a lot of good advice here from your friends. Accept that so many love and respect you and one had a bad day/week/life. I suspect that writing may be just the cure for your "blues" so my advice is to start writing!
Hugs, GraceinAZ

Marcia - Crafty Sewing and Quilting said...

Wow! First I love reading your blog, for the personal stuff and the quilting stuff, but you know that!
I read everyone's comments, I think everyone hit all the key points, but I really like Belinda's comment. -- So I am going to say ditto!
And by the way my daughter and my son are a princess and a prince in my eyes, no matter what their blood lines are! As I know yours are too!
Again Belinda hit it right on the head!
Do not stop blogging! If you could at least post once a week that would be great. I think we all feel like we are a part of your life, as you know we really are your friends!

rubyslipperz said...

Maybe...this person needs to get aquainted with Flower's Bambi?

"If you can't something nice, don't say anything at all".

I'm sad that you were at the end of these unkind comments. =(


sweetybird09 said...

Wow Tonya, you have a lot of very caring readers on this blog, I agree with everything all of you have said, do not stop blogging, you have such a way with words, so if this royalty thing is real or not, it really does not matter in the scheme of things.

Sorry I have been absent from the blogging scene myself, life has a way of getting in and there was no time for me to blog...

Miss you and take care girl!!!!

Carrie P. said...

Tonya, you have a lot of support and caring people out there. I am one of them and hope that you do not stop blogging. I am just getting to know you and enjoy your blog too.
I have seen this happen to some other bloggers and when it happens to you it is hard to take but you know what you wrote is what you believed to be true.
I hope that you are able to sleep and let God take this from you. Hugs!

Mhairi said...

PLEASE DON"T LEAVE!!! I would miss you heaps. I love reading your blog and would miss your thoughts very much.
Could I just say though that this horrible message led me to research your daughters heritage. I found a really interesting site and loved reading about the Princess.
How wonderful to have this history in your life, no matter how you are connected the fact that you can research your history and find so much information is amazing.
And after all if we go back far enough aren't we all related and therefore when you send a message think about whether you would say it to your mother, sister, brother or aunt.
Ignore this message, delete her hatred from your life in the same way you deleted the email. Read the love that is written in this post comments and remember that there are more of us who love you for what you write and who you are. HUGS!!

Carla said...

Sorry you had this experience. I have to agree with the other comments. Your ugly commenter contradicted herself. No such person but somehow that non-existent person died and was too young to bear children. mmm I see girls having babies at 14.
I understand how you feel but don’t you dare let her win and you quit blogging. I enjoy your blog.
And I'm dying to know the translation in you message to your testy blogger.
Maybe Testy woke up with her panties in a bunch that day.
You have an awesome day!!!