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This blog is now all about my personal life, including updates concerning Jerry's health. For quilt and pattern related posts please visit

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The 5 year mark

They say 5 is the magic year.
Marriages that last 5 years can last forever.
5 years makes a habit that can't be changed. 

Five years ago today I had not yet met my husband. Let me tell you part of his story....
(So many are new to my blog since last year so I feel the story must be told again. I'll go into a bit more detail today than I did last year.)

Five years ago today my husband had the absolute worst day of his life. It started out normal. He got up, went to work at his job of a police officer in a small town. He doesn't talk much about what happened the rest of the day. I cannot go into great detail as he is not a sharing kind of person, and what happened is still very difficult for him to talk about. I don't even know all of the details.

I do know by the end of the day, Jerry had lost everything. His wife had taken their children and fled the state after dumping their foster children on DFS's doorstep. How nice of her. In order to buy herself time to flee, she called up the county sheriff's department and fed them all kinds of stories of abuse. Jerry spent that evening handcuffed at his own desk at the PD. Jerry had no clue this was going to happen. He had a marriage and children,  and then he didn't. 

I will not go into all the details here, but Jerry was investigated by FOUR different government agencies. He was exonerated of all charges on all levels. Jerry spent every last penny trying to get his children back. They now live in Arizona, he has had no contact with them whatsoever. He sends cards and presents every holiday; which get refused and returned to sender. Arizona kindly takes a large portion of every paycheck though, for these kids that he never sees. I forgot to mention that our state, Missouri wanted Jerry's wife (at the time) and his children extradited back to our state, but Arizona refused. The Johnson county, Mo prosecutor decided that it was not a case he wanted to pursue. So many could have helped...but didn't.  It was later found out that Jerry's now ex sister-in-law works for the judicial court in the county where his wife fled to. How convenient!

The kids are 10 and 14 now. 
We are sure the 14 year old has been fed a pack of lies. 
This is quite normal on parental abduction cases...the one parent purposely alienates the other and makes them out the 'bad' guy. Children can very easily molded to believe anything their mother says. (The 10 yr old has physical and mental disabilities. She has lived well past her expected life span. This gives Jerry hope that he'll see her again someday!)

It is very common in America for children that are abducted by parents and then taken out of the country to get a lot of media coverage and aide. Parents that have their children abducted and taken to a different state within our country are not so lucky. We need at least $20,000 to start the proceedings yet again in court. That is just the retainer fee. We are looking at well over that before it is all said and done. If it were at all possible, we would lose everything again to make it happen. Given the evidence, we are sure that we would win the case but it would be a big, expensive mess spanning both states.

Today, at the 5 year mark, Jerry is obviously happily remarried (to me!). He has a little boy to look forward to every day. But the sting and hurt and pain do not go away. Ever. Jerry trusts in God and knows that He is in control and has His reasons. Jerry never gives up hope though. He will see his kids again someday. Even if it's on the other side.

In close, I ask you to pray for my husband today. 
It's a tough week--with today being the 5 year anniversary, and his son's birthday also being a few days away.

I'd like to also ask you to pop over and listen to a song that he wrote about his children. We have no way of sharing it here but if you go to the link it is the top featured song. Our dream is that someday a famous country artist hears it, records it and Jerry makes enough money off of it to get his kids back! Wouldn't that be great?!

Jerry would want me to warn you that when he recorded the above album, he had a case of laryngitis and was just trying to get the CD done for his mom for mother's day. We also had a tornado come through right during the recording session--so he just had to take what he had and go. 

In close I have a note for YOU, B. Owens. Oh, and you too A. 
We know you watch my blog. Google has this great stats thing that lets me see whenever a person visits my site. I can tell what browser you used, what city your connection is in, how long you stayed, what pages you visited. It is ironic that your visits go up when I mention Jerry or Stephen. It is also ironic that Jerry's blog got the same visits back when he used to blog. Go ahead. Watch us all you want.  Romans 12:19.

To my regular readers. I apologize for that last paragraph. I just had to do it. Jerry's going to get onto me for that one! It was not very forgiving of me. I struggle with forgiving B and her co-conspirator A. alot. It is hard to do when someone so badly hurts the one you love.


Stray Stitches said...

You both are in my prayers.

B-Z-Quilting said...

I clicked the link to the song and it took me to the playlist, but would not let me listen to the song. I will try again. In the meantime, I will be praying for a day of peace and comfort for Jerry and all your family. I will also be praying for Jerry's two older children. God can intervene when it seems there is no intervention that can be done, and I pray that the kids will someday come to understand the truth about their dad. I hope you have a day full of blessings!

Fiona@BubzRugz said...

I loved the recording.... I can't imagine how hard it is for Jerry and also for you as his love.... thinking of you both....

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing Jerry's story. I will add this to my prayer list, and pray for him, and for you. I know that God can change hearts - that is my only hope with my son....that is what I will hope for you: that God will change this situation and reunite Jerry with his kids.
Jacque in SC

Belinda said...

How moving Tonya. He and his whole family will be in my prayers. The song is wonderful and if he had laryngitis, he must have one heck of a voice when he's well! He's a very talented individual and hopefully someone will hear that song and want to record it.

Angie said...


Mariliz said...

That was a beautiful song! Sending prayers for you all today.

Pokey said...

Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry, but will pray for you all. The song is tender, and heartfelt, Jerry. Job well done.
Blessings, pokey

Heather said...

I'll be praying for you all today.

The Tulip Patch said...

That's terrible! I am so sorry. Children grow up and I hope these children will find the truth one day.

Handmade Crafts Done While RVing Blog said...

To the Mother of Jerry's children. May God have Mercy for the wrath you will recieve for your evil work. Tonya you know I am an attorney and email me off post. Both you and Jerry have such Blessing within each other. May Jerry use his voice to help other that are going through or about to go through this same very act of evil. Children are not pawns and no one wins - in fact everyone loses. Jerry loses his loved one - Tonya hurts because of her love for Jerry, the children will lose out on TRUE LOVE and even the Mother of the children lose - her Soul and that's the worst of all because God's promise will put Father and children back together after we pass and that dear EVIL women is the real Blessing. Hugs to Tonya, Jerry and Children.

Christine M said...

I'm sorry to hear your story. There are some horrible people out there. Hugs to you all. Christine

Sharon Pernes said...

This is so sad, prayers being said for both of you.
I don't blame you for the ending paragraph. Shame on her, taking that kind of love away from the children.

Handmade Crafts Done While RVing Blog said...

I posted this on my blog - it's toooo important not too... We so love you and Jerry and of course your children!!


Pat said...

I'm a child of a dad who was left one day, just like Jerry was. Your other commentator is right - everyone loses.
The woman who gave birth to me lives - but I have no mother. You use a child as a pawn, you sow nothing but pain - and where you least expect it.
Praying for God to heal all the wounds xx

QuiltSue said...

I am thinking of you all on such a sad day.

Michelle May (Shell) said...

Dear Jerry,
May the sun shine all day long,everything go right and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you, and may all the wishes you wish come true. -Irish Blessing.

Sending, light, love and happy prayers your way that your wishes will indeed come true.

xx, shell

Rose @ Confessions of a Curbshopaholic said...

Oh , Tonya, how awful that this could have happened! I had no idea someone could get away with something like that.
I loved Jerry's song and will pray he gets to see his children again soon. What is WRONG with that woman????? Those poor kids.

Sheila said...

I'm sorry this has happened to Jerry.
I have talked to, read about and heard of adult children whose mother or father did not allow them to see their other parent while they were growing up. Then they grew up and see through the lies, learn the truth. The opportunities to be with and know their wronged parent while they were children are gone, can never be retrieved. Jerry's children will grow up, learn the truth and hate their mother for what she has done to them.