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Saturday, October 16, 2010

A Glimpse

October 16, 1945 
my beautiful mother was born.
She was beautiful her whole life.

As most would say about their mom,
She was beautiful inside and out.
And loved her children.
She loved planning our costumes.

And doing things with us.
Here we are before girl scout camp.

She was head of the PTA...and so much more!
She tried to make special moments for our family. These next two brought tears to my eyes.

I must have loved Snoopy even when I was really little, because look at this photo I found. 
It was labelled "Tonya's Party Favors"
Then, there is this photo:

It was a Christmas Eve candle light home.
How special is that??? Look how dressed up we were!

Only, I don't remember any of this.
October 1, 1978 my mom died just short of her 33rd birthday.
I was 8 years old. 
When you say someone was missed by the whole town, it was true in my mom's case. 
Here is the evidence:
It was a time capsule they actually built into the wall of the school gym, in her honor. 

Life really changed for me. 
I mean really changed. 
I got moved to a new home, new school.
Never to see my friends or even some family again.

Much more happened that doesn't need to be told.
The events that followed my mom's death were very unfortunate, and caused me to have a brain block.
I don't remember my mom at all, except her laying there in that casket. 
That is the ONLY picture I have of her in my memory. 
To this day I am against open casket funerals.
 What a dreadful thing to be the only memory of  a wonderful mom!
Sometimes ~ like when writing this blog~ I try hard to remember her. 
But it doesn't happen. 
I wish she could be here so that my kids would have a loving grandma to take them places. 

But, God wanted her to come home and be with Him.
And that's ok. His plan is best, and she didn't need to suffer any longer. 

I just thought I'd let you see a tiny peephole glimpse into my past....
on this, what would have been my mom's 65th birthday. 


Lynda said...

What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful mother.

Angie said...

Tonya, that was so beautiful!
Her love for her family is obvious from those pictures!
I pray someday you'll be able to remember some of those moments!

Quiltaholic said...

I can only hope and pray that my children love me as much. *HUGS* to you in your rememberance and may your heart heal and find peace.

QuiltSue said...

Just to say I found this post very moving.

teresamnj said...

I have tears in my eyes. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mother. My dad died at the age of 64, but we also did not have an open casket, and I'm happy about it, although some family members weren't. My dad became very ill with cancer and died within three months of diagnosis. He didn't even look like himself, and I know he didn't want people seeing him like that. Thankfully you can keep looking at those wonderful pictures of your mom.

Cindy Adkins said...

Oh my gosh, Tonya,
This is the most beautiful tribute--it is totally amazing--and your mom was so beautiful!!! She must have been an absolute doll. I can't imagine that you only have one memory of her because you were probably her whole life...I am praying that while she is with the angels in heaven that she is sending you hugs every day.

Heather said...

I see I sent that book just in time! I had no idea it was her birthday! I'm very sorry I never got to meet her & that she was taken so young. Those are some great pictures of her!

Pat said...

Wonderful tribute, Tonya.
It must have been emotional for you to make *hugs* xx

Blondie ~ Vintage Primitives said...

One reason you are such an awesome Mom yourself is because you got a very strong, positive foundation with your Mom, even though you may be mentally blocking out memories. And obviously she had a powerful impact on others as that time capsule is evidence of.

Thank you for sharing such an intimate and personal part of your life. Take lots of pics, Tonya, you are a treasure for many.
lotsa hugs

Ann Nichols said...

What an absolutely beautiful mother! That you should remember her in this way proves the impact she had upon you even in the few short years you had together. And that is being carried on in you to your children and in turn to theirs.
What a beautiful mother - inside and out - and now from her place in heaven as she watches over her very special, little girl.
That Christmas Eve's just gorgeous. She loved you dearly.
God bless,

Valley Primitives Gift Shoppe said...

{{{Tonya}}} I am so sorry. Your mom was beautiful and you can tell from these photos that you shared with us just how much she loved you!

Hands to Work, Hearts to God said...

Oh I am so sorry you lost your mother at such a young age and you have no memory of her! But at least you have the pictures and you know you were loved and she took the time to do little and big things for you. You know she was extra special because the school even had a time capsule and fund raising event in her honor- that's really unusual! God bless you! You may not know it, but you're probably like her in all sorts of ways! Patsy from

Karen said...

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Dad when I was 8. I've always felt that I got ripped off. I was his little girl, and one day he was just gone. Life did change, but we stayed in the same house. Family just surrounded us with help and love. And we survived. Somehow.
I can remember bits and pieces of him. I can probably count them on two hands. I don't remember his personality at all but I know that for my Mother to die 32 years later and love him just as much that day as she did on the day he died, he must've been pretty special.
But . . . flip side is - at least we got them for 8 years right? We can't change it, so we might as well be joyful with what time we did have.
WIthout them, we wouldn't be who we are today. YAY!
Have a great weekend. Welcome to the Sorority!
Karen ~ Some days are diamonds

Judi said...

Thanks for sharing with us. I hope that you will continue to find peace. Looking forward to the continuation of this story.

Jan said...

What a lovely piece you have written as a tribute to your Mum ,she would have been so proud Jan xx

Marcia said...

Thanks for sharing the story about your Mom. My Dad died 16 years ago of Pancreatic Cancer and I truly believe the open casket is very important. It helps us to accept their passing. Think of your Mom as being at peace and visualize her in those pictures -- I keep a picture of my Dad on my fridge to see every day... Put up one of your Mom on your fridge or somewhere you will see everyday and keep those memories in your mind. Start a new vision!! I hope this helps... Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...

Handmade Crafts Done While RVing Blog said...

I am so honored to know you now... You don't have to remember your Mum because you are your Mum. That beauty with no doubt has been passed onto you....

The Tulip Patch said...

Tonya... Hugs to you. Just yesterday I was mourning that I will never know my mom adult to adult. I hope you have a great mothers day

Belinda said...

Wow. That's some tribute there! I like what Handmade said two posts up. Truer words were never spoken. Happy Mother's Day Tonya!

Patty@Granma's said...

Okay dear friend, here is what you can do: transfer those pictures to fabric, (I know you know how ;), piece a wall quilt, quilt it with hearts, flowers, embroidery, snoopy even, hang it where you see it every day. Over time, memories will surface. Above all else, remember she loved you - and lots of people do!

Gmama Jane said...

Wow, this tribute to your mother was very moving. I can't imagine how you must have felt or what you have been through. MY own mother lost her mother at age 2 and her only memory, like yours, is beig held up to see her mother in a casket. She too was shipped off to a new life with relatives. She rarely talked about those young years until much later in life when in the fog of Alheimer's, memories long buried began to surface. She went back to that time and I learned some disturbing events that happened to my mother. She "blocked' or chose to block them from her memory until ravaged by dementia, those long forgotten memories bubbled up. I was given a rare glimpse into my mother's early childhood which explained many of her fears and longings. The mind is seeks to protect it's owner. Blessings to you
Gmama Jane